In seventh grade, I found myself one of two finalists from our school in a speech competition. It was clear to everyone, I think, that I ended up there because my speech was well-written; while the other finalist was there as a dynamic and talented speaker. The writing part has always been my thing, whereas people looking at me (attention, period) is kinda-sorta the opposite of my thing. As such, I avoid sharing our story like the plague; unless it’s in the context of a nice solid one-to-one or possibly one-to-two-or-three ratio.
That said, Adam and I keep getting asked to share our journey. As much as I dislike public speaking, I hate disappointing people and/or saying no even more. And so we share. Quite honestly, it doesnt feel like much. A paltry offering, steps we have taken in obedience that have somehow led us right to the middle of a crazy life here in the city.
But I think maybe our story and our lives could serve as a marker for other couples, other mommas, other young people. A reminder that it doesn't take extraordinary people to love your neighbors. That even the most mundane acts, even the smallest steps, can be a beautiful offering that the Lord will multiply and use despite ourselves.
I keep trying to tell God that He most certainly does not want me as His mouthpiece. As soon as I write something that sounds pretty, or even daresay important, I immediately start thinking about how many people will read it. Who will comment, who will share, how make likes it might garner. And then when the answer is none, I am in the depths and ready to quit. I am certain God ain't got time for all my foolishness.
Yet, God reminds me that perhaps He does want to use me as He used Moses, even with a stutter. Or Rahab the prostitute, or David the adulterer and murderer. Or any other manner of imperfect folks who Jesus calls worthy of Himself. Because in my very weakness, He is shown strong.
So all of the long rambling craziness to say that we are available. If you are interested, Adam and I would be happy to come to your church/class/college-group/small group etc. and share. We don't, actually, have all that much to offer. But we do have our story and our lives, and we want to pour those all-the-way out. We have things we have learned on this journey, things we have discovered about loving our neighbors, about finding Jesus, about making disciples, and about climbing down the ladder instead of up. About why it matters that we speak-up for justice, and why we should be caring for the poor and loving our neighbor as ourself. We might not be well-dressed or well-groomed, and Adam will certainly ramble too long about the chickens. Rest assured, we wont be slick, or have a good marketing pitch, and we wont ask you to sponsor any of our kiddos. We would be honored, however, to offer you our lives: our scars and our stretch marks and the ways they continue to change and grow us into more beautiful harbingers of His grace in the city every single day.
In other news, I'd also be more-than-happy (I'd prefer it really!) to write something for your blog/journal/book/what-have-you. Let me know if you're interested or need anything written or spoken or anything.
Also, FYI: this feels vulnerable and weird, thanks for listening.