Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Walking in Memphis

Tomorrow Isaiah will be three months old. And last night he slept through the night. It's the kind of thing I don't really want to write down, because inevitably it will mean it never happens again. Besides, tomorrow morning we leave for CCDA in Memphis, and we all know how disrupting a baby's schedule helps get them on track with sleeping through the night (sarcasm font).

Last week, I went back to work after maternity leave. And today was full of early morning feeding, fighting traffic, pumping, shooting, editing, helping boys with college stuff, arguing with my kids to eat their spaghetti, the nightly game of whack-a-mole to get them into bed, driving boys home, doing laundry, wondering if we even have a suitcase we can use tomorrow, and pondering packing before sitting down to return some emails and finish up a little work instead. Sigh. I'm tired just thinking about it, especially because Isaiah sleeping through the night means nothing apparently for ME sleeping through the night. Instead, I toss and turn and take forever to fall asleep, and then keep waking up to check if he is breathing and to relieve the pressure by pumping.
Life twirls faster than it should, mostly. You're so busy, people say. And I agree wholeheartedly, trying desperately to figure out what to cut out and how. Jayci has fallen into an abyss of terrible behavior and emotional breakdowns, and I am completely at a loss as to how to handle it. Sympathy? Tough love? Consequences? Deep talks? My brain feels addled from sleep deprivation and the best I can come up with is: I thought we already had a baby in the family. #fail. And then apologies and prayers because, modeling my desperate need for grace is a good thing, right?
Needless to say, I'm looking forward to a few days away from the hustle and bustle of our normal life. It's been a doozy of a few weeks between health diagnoses for loved ones, church stuff, exhaustion, and meltdowns (particularly from the women in our household - namely, Jayci and I). I have some fun announcements and even a giveaway which I'll hopefully get up here even while I'm in Memphis! I'm also, as a side note, I'm pretty pumped about seeing one of my favorite ladies in person again while we're there.

So as the spinning top keeps spinning, I'm praying for a few days to slow down and think about why we are doing what we do, how we're doing it, and what new (or old) directions we are being led into.
I'm asking myself again what my soul needs, what our family needs, and how God wants to use our community and lives to deepen and strengthen our faith and dependence on Him. Thanks, as always, for the ways you carry and encourage and support us through it all.

1 comment:

  1. I'm right there with you. Molly is sleeping terribly and Leo fusses and throws tantrums. Exhausting. Add in work and sickness and everything else - oy.

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