Friday, May 3, 2013

Becca's book list and links for your weekend

Once again, I can't thank y'all enough for your kindness and encouragement and for every single "me too!" I actually feel a little foolish sneaking back into the car and writing about our normal day-to-day life around here. But the truth is that the moments where I feel DONE (all-caps on purpose there), are far out-numbered and out-weighed by those moments where I am decidedly not-done. Where I am busy fighting FOR Adam and the kiddos rather than against them. Anyways, just wanted to pop in and reassure everyone how all-right we are. Usually.
"No long-term marriage is made easily, and there have been times when I’ve been so angry or so hurt that I thought my love would never recover. And then, in the midst of near despair, something has happened beneath the surface. A bright little flashing fish of hope has flicked silver fins and the water is bright and suddenly I am returned to a state of love again — till next time. I’ve learned that there will always be a next time, and that I will submerge in darkness and misery, but that I won’t stay submerged. And each time something has been learned under the waters; something has been gained; and a new kind of love has grown. The best I can ask for is that this love, which has been built on countless failures, will continue to grow. I can say no more than that this is mystery, and gift, and that somehow or other, through grace, our failures can be redeemed and blessed.” - Madeleine L’Engle

 Since these talks are from years ago (side note: what in the actual world are TED talks?), I'm certain I'm the very last person to ever see these videos from Brene Brown. But just in case I'm not, y'all should definitely watch them. And now her book (Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead) has definitely been added to my ever-expanding book-wish-list.

"You cant selectively numb your emotions . . . when we numb the hard things, we also numb joy, happiness, meaning . . . " 

"We perfect, most dangerously, our children . . . Our job is to look and say 'you are imperfect and wired for struggle: but you are worthy of love and belonging . . .' show me a child raised like that and we will end the problems we face today."

"When we work from a place that says I am enough, then we stop screaming and start listening. We are kinder and gentler to the people around us, and we are kinder and gentler to ourselves."

"Guilt: I'm sorry I made a mistake. Shame: I'm sorry I am a mistake."
"For woman, shame is: do it all, do it perfectly, and never let them see you sweat. Shame for woman is this web of unattainable, conflicting expectations of who we are supposed to be." 

"The two most powerful words when we're in struggle: me too." 

I'm not sure if y'all have noticed, but I like to read. A lot. And I've shared a list of my 2013 book-list-so-far a couple times (here and here). I thought I'd try and consolidate that list in one place, so that if anyone wants a list and/or recommendations they might be able to actually find it. That said, here's a list of my reading/book list so far this year. The ones with a star are the ones I loved the most, with apologies to all the rest, because I love all books for the things they teach me.
* Wonder
- Behind the Beautiful Forevers
- Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail
- Fatherless Generation: Redeeming the Story
- The Reluctant Prophet
- Unexpected Dismounts
- Fist Stick Knife Gun: A Personal History of Violence
- The Twelve Tribes of Hattie
* Sparkly Green Earrings: Catching the Light at Every Turn
* Carry On, Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed
- Cutting for Stone
* Fire in the Ashes: Twenty-Five Years Among the Poorest Children in America
- The Mortal Instruments Series(it's possible I'm slightly embarassed about this one . . . )

I just finished Carry on Warrior, and now I'm starting MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friend. Also on the up-next-list (I'm reading it for book club) is Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister.
"I used to see security as the opposite of courage. A resting place for the ones who play it safe. Until I played it safe and realized I’d never been so insecure in my entire life. Truth be told I thought I was insane. So I fell in line and I followed the rules. I registered for the china and double-knotted the apron strings, and invited the neighbors over for Tupperware parties. And I fully acknowledge that for some, this is their comfortable place. This is what they work so hard for. Roots, settling down, collecting spoons to be placed on a plaque on the wall. Places they’ve visited only to return to the arms of an unchanging house. I saw it in their eyes. Happy. Happy to be making muffins for the PTO parties and setting the alarm clock each night for the exact same time each morning. I will never say there is anything wrong with that place of contentment. It’s just that for me, there is a wild woman who lives in my adventurous soul, and it was her voice I could no longer ignore."
- From Artifact Uprising (an amazing company - I adore their products - and Katie, one of the owners - and in fact may have purchased a thing or two from them for mother's day gifts for my mom and mom-in-law).
(See how pretty my dirty window is in the sunset? That's the only reason I never clean it).

*Also, I think those links are affiliate links. But I'm not sure, because I dont really know what that even means. 


  1. i love book lists, and am always looking for what to read next! thanks for sharing ;)

  2. Girl, I LOVE that Madeleine L'Engle quote. That pretty much sums up the last year or so for me in my marriage. Sigh. Praying for that flashing fish of hope to hurry up and come before tonight is over.

  3. Just added two of these to my list. Also, I turned the screen to show Cory your mad spider web skillz.

  4. Love reading lists, thanks for sharing Becca!

  5. I read Wild a few weeks ago. Seriously couldn't put it down. It was one of the BEST books I've read in a very long time!!


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