Thursday, February 21, 2013

Why you should never clean out your car

I'm going to let you in on a little secret: I'm an awful "housewife." Like beyond terrible. I cannot cook. I constantly forget to switch the laundry, so it always smells slightly mildew-y. Typically, I also forget to wash the basketball jerseys until an hour before the game (which means stinky teenager sweat sitting in a bag for a week. nastified). Our house is rarely clean. As in, for a while it was clean once a week when we had "cleaning day" but then Danielle moved out and baskbetball was on Mondays and everything just seemed entirely too hard to tackle on my own.

But our cars y'all? They are just on a whole 'nother level. It's like we are physically incapable of keeping it from complete ruin.

Then the other day, three of the neighborhood boys were so desperate for hot wings loved us so much that they offered to clean our car our for five  dollars each. Recognizing a naive view of just how disgusting our car is, and knowing a deal when I see it - I accepted their offer immediately. So now our car is clean. Which is most likely last all of two days before it dissolves into chaos again. Entropy is strong in our cars y'all. Entropy and unidentified smells. 

All that to say, since our car has been clean, I have found myself ill-prepared for outings on multiple occasions. I've realized that this is the result of typically being able to count on finding extra jackets, shoes, clean diapers, wipes, (insert various other items here), in the back/crevices of our van. So as I watch our car quickly getting itself messy again (obviously not our fault), I have compiled a useful list of reasons you should NOT clean your car. 

I even labeled a picture of the inside of our car (quick mom, look away and pretend you raised me better!) because you are obviously going to want to "pin" this post for future reference.
1- You will always have extra napkins for wiping hands and cleaning up spills. Just check any one of the five or so empty Chick-fil-a bags, surely there's a clean napkin or two in there.

2- Need shoes? Forgot shoes? No problem. If you're lucky, you might even find a matching pair.
3 - There are a plethora of toys to entertain the children. My preferred method is just reaching behind me and rummaging on the floor until I find something to hand them. When they tire of it, they simply throw it back on the floor, and I rummage around for a new one.

4- You will have significantly less laundry to do because all of your children's socks and sweatshirts etc will be left in the car.

5- To quote one of the kiddos on the way to church this week: "I bet you could find a fortune in here."

6- I realize it may be embarrassing and/or a hassle when you open your doors and things fall out (particularly if you are somewhere that you are forced to valet park, which thankfully doesnt happen to us very often), but I like to just think of this as my ministry: no matter how messy your house/car/whatever is, our car will always be worse. Making moms feel better about themselves since 2006 (which is when I married Adam. Before then, my car was clean. Interesting phenomenon right?)

*ps - I'm slightly embarrassed about these pictures. I have no shame apparently.


  1. I'm not entirely sure what some of those items pictured are.

  2. i have to admit my car is just as bad and i'm married to a neat freak. it kills him. the last time i cleaned out my van it backfired. like you, i wasn't prepared for anything. i didn't have bandaids, or wipes, or napkins, or kleenex, or hats, or a change of clothes, bottles of water, etc. etc. etc. the worst part was that we arrived in carpool line to drop my kids off at school, 30 minutes from my house, and we had no shoes!

  3. LOL!!!!!!! The life of busy moms and dirty cars.

  4. I looked away..............
    love mom

  5. Which is most likely last all of two days before it dissolves into chaos again. rekond göteborg


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