Thursday, August 9, 2012

Caden's Surgery, One Year Ago

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of Caden's surgery.  I wanted to write about it and go to the hospital and thank the nurses and doctors and commemorate the day somehow. I was, however, a little too emotional about the whole thing. Even more so than on Caden's birthday, I feel like Caden's surgery-day was a sort of re-birth for him and for us.

I still can't seem to remember that day without trembling a little and having tears well up. It was a terrifying day, and although the outcome was good, I can scarcely imagine going through that again in a few years.

Two days ago, Zack got tired of listening to the "Toddler Tunes" CD that Jayci likes to have on repeat (I cant fathom why). He popped in an unmarked cd, and I couldn't stop the ugly-cry that came out when the first song started playing. It was the cd we had playing in the car while we drove back and forth from the hospital during Caden's stay.

And these words ring in my heart today just as strongly and clearly as they did a year ago. And I am grateful. So today, a year and a day after Caden's surgery, I am remembering and praising Jesus for how far Caden has come and for the things that He has done and continues to do in and through Caden's special little heart.
baby Caden in the CICU
All this pain 
I wonder if I'll ever find my way? 
I wonder if my life could really change at all?
Adam and Caden in the CICU at Egleston
All this earth 
Could all that is lost ever be found? 
Could a garden come up from this ground at all?  baby heart defect open heart surgery
First time baby opens his eyes after open heart surgery
You make beautiful things 
You make beautiful things out of the dust 
You make beautiful things 
You make beautiful things out of us 
CICU
All around 
Hope is springing up from this old ground 
Out of chaos life is being found in You
One year later heart baby
You make beautiful things 
You make beautiful things out of the dust 
You make beautiful things 
You make beautiful things out of us 
Oh, you make beautiful things 
(song is Beautiful Things by Gungor)

11 comments:

  1. This post is incredible. I know I've told you this, but we didn't have our Gabe when he had his first two surgeries and I've always wondered what it was like. It breaks my heart that Gabe didn't have anyone there crying over his pain.

    Praise God for our boys! They are true miracles!

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  2. The difference a year makes...

    the difference faith makes :)

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  3. Thank you for this post. Our Q's one year is coming up in less than 2 months and I can hardly think about it without having tears and even just a little anxiety. I was thinking about it this morning --- Q's heart is healed (she'll need repairs later but right now it's functioning well for her) but I wonder if/when my heart will heal and not be so ovecome every time I think of it? Something tells me that all of this heart surgery stuff will have way more of an impact on us as parents and mommas than it will on the children who will just remember those early days through stories.

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  4. Wow...I bet it was an emotional day! Reliving your fears, that awful surgery waiting room, the sounds of the ICU....I'm so glad it is all over, and he has done so well! Happy Birthday, Caden, and Happy 1st Anniversary of your surgery! It has been such a joy to watch you grow this past year (thanks to your Mom's awesome writing and photography skills!)

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  5. Caden is very blessed that God decided for you and Adam to be his parents. He has so much love in his life and he will learn so much from watching the way his parents live their lives. I am so happy to see your little guy happy and thriving!

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  6. What a beautiful miracle that boy is and testament to God's faithfulness!!!!! xoxoxo

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  7. Its crazy how much he has changed in one year. Dark hair then to awesome blonde hair now. Sick little man with a broken heart then to a growing thriving little man with a fixed, less broken heart. Can't wait to read his two year and three year and so on and so on posts in the years to come :)

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  8. I feel you. Hugs to you and that perfect little miracle boy!

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