Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Hope Deferred

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" Prov. 13:12

Today was a disappointing day. Don't get me wrong, it was a "good" day as far as that Caden did well and even made some great strides . . . but his surgeon said this morning that he wanted him to go to step-down this afternoon, which meant we would be able to hold him today. Despite the fact that we told ourselves his moving to step-down was a long shot, I had managed to get my hopes up enough to get them soundly dashed. He couldn't go to step-down because he wasn't able to get his other heart-line out (the line that went into his heart to measure the pressure, they took the left atrium line out this morning but weren't able to get the right atrium line out this afternoon).

Nothing bad happened, there was no reason he wasn't able to get them both out except that they had set lofty goals and expected a lot out of our little man for one day, and they didn't end up wanting to push him too hard. The good news is that he is finally getting breast milk (which I have been diligently and tirelessly - but not without complaining - pumping every three hours for 2 weeks . . . ) Right now, the feeding is done continuously through a NG-tube, but they did offer him a bottle today for the first time and he drank a little bit like a champ. The nurses were totally impressed.

Now that he has most of his tubes out and is awake more often, we just think he's the cutest thing and I cant resist getting my camera out every time we're there. Plus, he still can't have visitors, so this is the best way for everyone to "meet" our little miracle!

And yesterday, Jayci even got to visit her little brother. She brought him his sock monkey and told him she loved him "all the time." Which totally melted my heart.

For the nine-thousandth time, thank you so so much for all your support and encouragement. I know that no one expects or needs a reply from me right now, but I just want you to know how sorry I am that I haven't been able to sit down and write each and every one of you a proper letter telling you how much your words and prayers and support have encouraged my heart. For real.

18 comments:

  1. Praying for you - may your hearts be encouraged and strengthened in these days.

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  2. Praying for yall! I can't believe I missed all the blog updates before this, but now I know and I will be praying everyday.

    May the LORD bless you and keep you;
    May the LORD make his face shine on you and be gracious to you;
    May the LORD turn his face toward you
    and give you peace.

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  4. The Scrimpshire family is lifting you and your son up before the cross in prayer. Your testimony is a beautiful encouragement to us and so many.

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  5. Amazing. Hearing the great news gives me chills. Prayers, prayers, prayers for your little man and family!

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  6. I am praying tomorrow is the day you can hold him. Please, please, please let tomorrow be the day Jesus.

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  7. Heard about sweet Caden through a mutual friend, and have been following his journey ever since. Sending lots of prayers from Stockholm, Sweden...

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  8. Praying you get to hold your little precious boy soon. Those eyes. I melt everytime I look at a picture of him.

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  9. I'm so impressed that you've been pumping this whole time! Whoa, super mom.

    That little man is just the CUTEST thing! I think he looks so much like Jayci!

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  10. I don't think we've ever met, but we are also a pary of Renovation and I saw your story on the city. My heart goes out to you and your family and your precious little boy. You will be in my prayers daily.

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  11. praying that you will be able to hold him in your arms VERY SOON. he is absolutely gorgeous, you guys! <3

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  12. Oh Caden is just so precious! He looks like he is doing a world of better and I'm so glad you guys were able to go in there and get some pictures with him. I'm praying for the day you can hold him, but as long as he is getting better that is so amazing! So happy for you guys and continuing to send prayers and thoughts. <3

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  13. Joni C (Jill's friend :-)August 18, 2011 at 9:23 AM

    Caden's eyes just melt me...I don't blame you for wanting to snap away! What troopers ALL of you have been. And, Caden wants you to hold you as much as you want to hold him!

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  14. That is my favorite verse- I love the NLT version- "Hope deferred makes you sick, but dreams fulfilled bring joy and life." Don't stop dreaming about your little Caden day in and out. As you fall into bed at night may you remember the Lord saves your tears in a bottle and writes your sorrows in his book. He cares about this trial right now with you... He has great plans for this boy and for Jayci too....

    I wanted to tell you as you have been in the midst of everything- You had asked for prayer for her to not get "lost" in the shuffle of all of this. My only sibling was born severely disabled. My parents basically spent everyday for a year in the hospital with her the first year of her life. I was OK. The Lord took care of me and I never remember feeling unloved or neglected during that time. You are doing a great job juggling it all. Jesus doesn't just care about Caden- he loves you guys and Jayci just as much and he is taking care of it all.. I know you know... But we are praying here at the Fix household as well..

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  15. He really is one of the cutest babies I have ever seen! Praying that Christ gives you and Caden strength moment by moment! Keep on pumping! Praying! Trista

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  16. he is beautiful. praying for you guys. grateful that the Lord has had our paths cross... though through circumstances neither of us would ever have chosen.

    - bryan apinis

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  17. I shared Caden's story in all my classes today and they wanted yall to know that they are thinking about you/praying for you. So you've got Social Circle High School lifting you up! You probably already know this, but one of my co-teachers wanted to relay a message. His son's name is Cade (short for Caden) and he wanted to remind you that Caden means fighter. So you have an aptly named son!

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  18. Girlfriend, I am SO proud of you for pumping this whole time. That in itself is SO amazing. You are such a good momma! That baby boy is so precious and is completely covered in prayer!

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