I feel as though some of you think more highly of me than you should. Because let me tell you, my heart has NOT been in the right place this week. I have been selfish and whiny and bratty and annoyingly pouty (hey maybe some of the campers have been rubbing off on me!)
See, I have this problem with UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS and unusually high levels of “hissy fit” when those expectations aren’t met. I think I may have had this problem from an extremely young age, considering one of my earliest memories is of throwing a full-blown tantrum at Disney World because I THOUGHT we were going to start with Space Mountain, but instead we started with the Teacup Ride. I mean can you imagine the gall of my parents to do that to me? Ahem.
Anyhow, back to camp and my unrealistic expectations. See my job title at camp has always been “hang out with the kids” oh and I do a little office work on the side (plus working for my dad part-time – I added that in just in case he reads this and panics that I forgot I am on HIS payroll still . . . ) Basically, that has meant a LOT of time for me to build relationships, swim with kids, talk to them about life, race them down the slide, and lose to them in basketball.
As it turns out, however, this year is a little different. Why? Oh just a little something we like to call JAYCI. Who knew having a child took up so much time? Not me apparently, because in my head this year of camp was going to be just like the last two years. And it’s not. I’ve found myself having a really bad attitude because I’m just not having enough FUN at camp. And that’ s what it’s all about right? Me having fun. Or not.
Tonight, I decided to walk down to the kids who were camping out to roast (and consume) a few or six smores. Because nothing drowns my sorrow like large amounts of sugar. (Speaking of sugar, some nice people from Kellar Williams brought us at least – no exaggerating seriously – 200 cupcakes. I might or might not have eaten four so far today.)
Wow, I am seriously darting down the rabbit trails today aren’t I? Sorry for all the rambling. Where was I? Oh yes, the smores. So I was walking down the VERY DARK path from the “fort” to the campsite, and I looked up at the stars. And y’all? It laid me flat-out. (Literally, I totally tripped) But figuratively too; because it turns out that there are WAY more stars out there than I usually see. And God knows them each by name.