Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Pillow Talk

Adam and I dated for a really long time before we got engaged and married. Add to that the fact that we started dating in high school, were each other's first loves, and had waited patiently for marriage before sleeping together or even kissing; and we felt like if there was anyone who didn't need pre-marital counseling, it was us.

We, nevertheless, faithfully attended our sessions. I even feel like we learned a thing or two about ourselves, about each other, and about the Lord's design for marriage. We were also super-mature and giggled or snickered everytime our counselor mentioned any words referring to sex or, you know, our parts (ahem).

But there was one suggestion that our counselor made that we took to heart and continue to practice on a daily basis, and that is "pillow talk." He explained that it's important for couples to find time to talk to each other about your lives, to connect on a heart level and be intentional about it rather than simply co-existing and living under the same roof (something which is surprisingly easy to do). He mentioned that one way to ensure you do this is to find a specific time to talk and connect on a daily basis. We picked that sweet time before sleep when we're both lying in bed. We call it pillow talk, and we ALWAYS pray together, and then also try to talk about anything else that might be on our hearts or minds.

Lets be honest, this doesn't happen every single day because, well, we have a 4 month old baby who hates to sleep and sometimes we're just too daggum tired. Other times, Adam prays that thing like highchairs will be "useful" and I know he's fallen asleep mid-prayer. Other days we fight, other times we don't go to sleep at the same time . . . but for the most part, we have our pillow talk every night and I really do think it makes a huge difference in keeping our marriage healthy and our hearts connected.

So that's my tip for you today -- find out more "Works for Me Wednesday" tips at Shannon's blog. See you tomorrow!


  1. This is so sweet. I was actually just reading an article the other day about healthy spousal relationships and two of the top 5 things it mentions that healthy couples do is pillow talk & pray. :) So look at you guys getting it right! I also think it's sweet that you were high school sweethearts. That seems more uncommon these days, but I've always thought it was romantic. :)

  2. You should also read "Sacred Marriage". I read this before we got married - and then actually recommending it our marriage councelor to incorporate into his is so good! I think you and Adam would love it! Alli sent it to me and I recommend it to all married couples!

    PS...Alli now has a blog too. You can see if from my page!

    Love the new blog look!

  3. Loved this post, very sweet! Although I'm not married, good advice to take with me for the future :o)

  4. That is so sweet! What a great idea...Michael and I have our first pre-marital counseling session next week - I hope we get great suggestions like this. It's good to hear from you..I love seeing pictures of your cute daughter on facebook!


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